While those with no children by choice have the no children thing in common, there are plenty who don’t resonate with their fellow childfree–especially those who show up online.

Some thoughts from a childfree guy who wrote me recently illustrate how the childfree can often feel isolated from those who have made the same choice…


“I don’t seem to fit the internet model what a childfree male seems to be. I realize that our cause is undertaken by folks from a myriad of lifestyles and opinions and the idea of solidarity outside of the realm of not wanting children would be improbable at best.

Despite this, there is still a social separation that I am reminded of each time I peruse the forums or read the articles about the childfree. To clarify my point, I must do a little stereotyping so please understand that I well am aware of this.

I am not a rabid animal lover and the pets that I do have (two dogs and a turtle) are not surrogates for children. I do not have any hereditary medical or mental conditions that I don’t want to pass on. I am not a vegetarian and I am not all that interested in the environmental movement.

None of my CF friends identify themselves with this label and actually resist the idea of being labeled at all. I am militantly Pro Choice but not a Liberal or a Conservative. I don’t have a problem paying taxes that go towards schools and social programs that attempt to educate and help children integrate into society.
I have never experienced discrimination in the workplace due to my familial status and it is a very rare event that I get bingoed anymore.

I am an avid on/off road motorcyclist, I own many firearms, I am a guitarist who plays semi professionally. I can’t afford to take lavish vacations, I don’t own the latest of anything or dine at the same type of restaurant that I have read my counterparts have had their meals ruined in.

Sometimes I think that I represent a very large and silent majority of the Childfree who are too busy living their lives and trying to make ends meet to broadcast their ailments/opinions or to make snarky comments all over the web.

I don’t have a problem with those that do but I certainly don’t feel represented by these folks. I won’t make excuses for them and I feel that they are all valid in their positions but I can’t help but to feel that I have very little in common with the childed and even less in common with the childfree.”

Childfree reading this: Do you feel you’re not like the childfree you read about on the web?

How are you different than or similar to other childfree you read about online?

Do you think there is a silent cf majority out there?

Let’s hear from you…

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