I am struck by a “momversation” video on newparent.com. Three mothers share their views on people who have chosen not to have children. One woman, Heather, says she cruised lots of childfree blogs and sites and got the impression that childless by choice folks are “angry.” I had to post a comment–
– while I have seen childfree sites and lots of posts that I would consider less than kind spirited, in my experience there are far more childfree that are not out there bashing parents or kids. Heather also says she thinks the literature out there is “colored with a tone” that made it hard for her to want to see the childfree perspective on things because it’s so “derisive” of parents.” What literature does she mean I wonder. In the last 20 years books have focused on understanding this choice and those who make it, helping women make the decision whether to become a mother, and examining workplace inequities. More recently some titles have had a more humorous slant (e.g., No Kids: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children, Baby Not on Board: A Celebration of Life Without Kids), but they are far from what I would describe as derisive.
Another mom says she is sorry childless by choice people have to bash her for her choice — she thinks it is only because they have been bashed for theirs. What do you think about this perspective? Is the childless by choice rant out there driven by the fact we have often been criticized and judged?
Another woman says she is all about choice but seems to think that the childfree don’t necessarily respect herdecision to have them. They remark that they feel looked down upon by those who don’t have kids. So it seems that while often the childless feel their choice is not respected, some moms feel the same way. What is up with the mutual accusation of lack of respect?
Their comments left me thinking while I am all about freedom of speech, having posts and stuff out there in the digital world by childfree folks that are negative toward parents and kids does not help us gain more acceptance of our choice. It serves to work against this. There is a place to rant, but maybe not so publicly.
Where can we point moms like these to learn more about childree folks that aren’t about the rant? Who want exchange for better understanding and acceptance of a lifestyle choice that is different than theirs? In my post, I sent them here!
Where else would you send them–give me your thoughts and ideas~!